oh hey there. i'm here.

It's been two years, one month and three days since my last confession...er, post. since then i have failed many things. BUT, i have succeeded in losing weight and also successfully gaining it back. yay, me! I have successfully moved 7 million times and been thru 2 relationships and some really bad dates, one with a murderer and another with a stalker. so there's that. i've also succeeded in chilling the fuck out. life is damn messy, people. like, really freaking brutal. and also quite lovely and delicate and filled with little things of awesome....it reminds me of those tiny daisies you see in a huge field of weeds. just there and fragile and perfect and so happy. just to be. faces to the sun. i'm really good at that now. like, man....i am real. if nothing else, i am raw, real, me to the core...and dude, it's not always pretty. it's not always strong. it sometimes cries. like, ugly cries. but i am successfully being me. and also, i say dude more. i'm not entirely sure why. i'm a mom. a real messy, chaotic mom. it's a damn miracle if my kids get their homework done. but for real? kindergarten and 2nd grade. i'm sorry, but what the effing eff? like i don't have enough to feel incompetent about, my 2nd grader can't turn his homework in because his totally awesome, real (read tired and forgetful) mom didn't sign off on his homework sheet. where's the love, teach? granted, his poor teacher probably has to rein my dreamer in, like, pretty much all the time. for all the things. she's probably all, come on, lady. do this one thing. and i'm all, come on, lady. give a mom a break. we do what we can. as we can. i am successful in recognizing that. i'm aware this is a rocky resurgence. bear with me. i'll get back in my groove.