...and today, me, tomorrow, we love

sometimes it's really hard to be me. in fact, it's often better not to be me, in fact, since it goes against the me i'd like to be. there is something to be said for improving oneself, or denying oneself to better serve others. God says it's a must. But often, my inner dialogue says "Good God, must I?" I'm a bit rambly today...a series of inner explosions, expressing itself in strange behavior, coupled with a cold and some contankerous boys in my house today, has left me feeling somewhat out of sorts. someone told me recently that the only person i needed to satisfy was myself and my heart. sounds good at first....but really, how very selfish and how shallow an existance this would be for the long term....and it shows in his life, sadly. true satisfaction actually comes from taking care of others, showing love, giving love, handing it along. it grows and grows and has deep roots. but the "Good God, must I?" bubbbles up from time to time when I Want, I Need, Me, me, me gets left behind. it's terribly hard to be selfless and let those me, me's just dissolve.